A Singer's Life Lessons On Love And Valentine's Day
Updated: Jan 27
The acknowledging of the other person is really what love boils down to: stop thinking about yourself and think about the other and what makes them feel happy and honored.
Hello friends! Some people have asked me how Valentine’s Day came to be such an important date for me. Those close to me know that I have been doing a concert every year entitled "Jazz on Valentine's" and that is always the day of St. Valentine: February 14. Whose who know me as well know that I pour all my might intention into it. There are reasons behind. Here are some candid life lessons that brought me to do this and that I’d like to share.
I learned about the incredible power of a gesture on Valentine’s Day after I failed to give such gesture once in a previous relationship -which ended-, a long time ago, much before marrying my husband Helton. At the time I justified myself saying “Why do I have to express my love on this specific day instead of any other day?” But then I saw the missed opportunity to plant a seed of love and appreciation in the heart of the other person on a day when love is at the center plate. I realized that such justification was only reflecting my own selfishness, and a desire to make things comfortable for me, rather than acknowledging and celebrating the other. This acknowledging of the other person is really what love boils down to: stop thinking about yourself and think about the other and what makes them feel happy and honored. Then in a following relationship the tables turned on me. My boyfriend at the time played the same card: averted any kind of gesture on Valentine’s Day towards me because it was “commercial”, and then I felt the sting. Needless to say that relationship didn’t last either.
All those experiences taught me the importance of gestures to keep love and friendship afresh and alive, and to do them in a timely manner. That you don’t need to go overboard with whatever action you choose, but if you love someone, you have to express it with an action, word, or gesture, or all of the above, and not miss the chance to act when the occasion calls for it. That chance may not come back.
That’s why to me is important to make my concert “Jazz on Valentine’s" always on February 14, no matter what day of the week it falls, even if it is a Monday, an unlikely day to have a music event. It is a way to honor love through the power of music, and to do it the same day when the occasion calls for it. A day of encounter with the people that I love.
The concert is at the MATCH Theater in Houston at 8 pm on Tuesday Feb 14 2023.
I will be playing with my septet: Barry Sames, Thomas Helton, Cassio Darte, Adriano Santos, Ernesto vega, and Salvador Velasco.
I hope that we can share that day together too.
Photo: Helton Mendes