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Writer's pictureRaquel Cepeda, Jazz Singer

Does It Happen To You?

Updated: Jul 2, 2020


Does it happen to you?

Lately I get inundated by flashbacks of my past memories. But they come in such a sensory detail -visuals, smells, emotions- that it's vivacity becomes almost like a reality within the reality. I don't feel engaged to the feelings of those memories, I only experience them as an observer, but I can see every color, every smile, every gesture, sense every smell just as it happened, and it's overwhelming to me sometimes to remember everything in such detail, and without actively wanting. Most of those experiences are around happy memories, but sometimes they come as memories of everyday life without any strong emotional connotation. The most shocking are when the young faces of my old friends come along, and I remember all their young factions. Then I remember how much time has passed. Time is a strange thing for me. It feels not like a continuum, but rather like the pages of a book closely sown at the stem. Whether you might read that book as a continuum, once you close it, the lines what were written at the front pages may be in close proximity to the ones at the end. And it's all contained within the same space. Knowing that somehow my brain can store all those moments in such detail, lately I have been focusing more in being present at every moment rather than trying to capture it with photographs. I know that's a little bit selfish. But I have discovered that a photograph just can't do justice to the memory that gets impregnated in my brain and my heart if I am just there.

Observing.

Living in the moment.

Sending hugs to all.

Raquel

Photo credit: Helton Mendes





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